Yiting Li first discovered her research interests as a senior, taking Family Social Science 1101: Intimate Relationships with Dr. Tai Mendenhall.
The class discussed intimate relationships and money. At the time, Yiting was in a long-term relationship with a partner in China, and they’d been arguing a lot about money.
“He’d say, ‘It’s a waste of money to spend $20 on shampoo. $1 works.’ I was like, ‘I’m not spending your money. I’m spending my money or my parents’ money,’” she said.
During her Intimate Relationships class, Yiting realized the arguments weren’t really about money, but about values.
“I never think about the $1 option because this is how my family raised me,” Yiting said. There isn’t really a right or wrong answer, she said, but learning how to communicate with your partner about financial values is a key to a healthy relationship — even if you don’t agree with each other on every perspective, at least try to learn how to agree to disagree.
“Money and sex are the two most sensitive topics for couples,” Yiting said. “Especially when we’re dating someone at the very beginning, we don’t talk about money because we think of that as a taboo topic. Then people get married and have a partner with tons of debt. If they want to get married, they have to talk about this.”
Since then, Yiting has been examining the role of finances in relationships through her own research. Her Ph.D. dissertation compares white and Asian American couples, looking at how parental support regarding finances and financial disagreement between couples impacts relationship satisfaction in marriage.
